








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 400 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 805 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




111 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8989 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4254 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6887 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7979 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8266 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,410,918 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 703 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P8riQt | 55% | 53 |
| #2 | Time2deRank ;) | 51% | 61 |
| #3 | RvonA | 50% | 112 |
| #4 | ☠☣BLEEK☣☠ | 46% | 208 |
| #5 | Zero | 45% | 370 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero | 32 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Steve Stifler | 30 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | reAl´Devil | 17 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | MagicEagle90 | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | ☠☣BLEEK☣☠ | 7 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zero | 1961 | 0.25 | 44 min |
| #2 | Steve Stifler | 1727 | 0.11 | 33 min |
| #3 | MagicEagle90 | 1338 | 0.16 | 38 min |
| #4 | 乃ムℬムเʞɐ | 403 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | RvonA | 330 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1k | +1.88 | 62 | 55 |
| #2 | Toodels | +1.31 | 62 | 68 |
| #3 | ☠☣BLEEK☣☠ | +0.44 | 36 | 64 |
| #4 | P8riQt | +0.09 | 16 | 66 |
| #5 | RvonA | -0.24 | 36 | 63 |





