








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 145 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,107 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3503 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2499 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2186 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1919 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $709,069 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | That one guy called Ying | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | D uck | 53% | 17 |
| #3 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 50% | 40 |
| #4 | johnsn | 48% | 62 |
| #5 | Lyskh | 43% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lyskh | 43% | 94 |
| #6 | Senshi | 40% | 53 |
| #7 | Peter Pan | 35% | 34 |
| #8 | Ob3rst | 33% | 18 |
| #9 | flrnh | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lyskh | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | johnsn | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Senshi | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | That one guy called Ying | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senshi | 145 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lyskh | 121 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | That one guy called Ying | 111 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Peter Pan | 93 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | johnsn | 83 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | That one guy called Ying | +1.95 | 63 | 63 |
| #2 | D uck | +1.90 | 70 | 68 |
| #3 | dasturmi | -0.06 | 60 | 71 |
| #4 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | -0.44 | 54 | 67 |
| #5 | Peter Pan | -0.62 | 64 | 70 |





