










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2395 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1634 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2215 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2266 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2316 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,592 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | D uck | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 53% | 73 |
| #3 | Lyskh | 53% | 91 |
| #4 | flrnh | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Senshi | 51% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Peter Pan | 5 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Lyskh | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | flrnh | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | D uck | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dasturmi | 275 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | Lyskh | 116 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | That one guy called Ying | 96 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 95 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Senshi | 88 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | That one guy called Ying | +2.69 | 64 | 58 |
| #2 | D uck | +2.43 | 72 | 65 |
| #3 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | +0.25 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | dasturmi | +0.24 | 60 | 70 |
| #5 | Lyskh | +0.11 | 72 | 60 |





