








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,476 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3295 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3139 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2195 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,852 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | CrimsenArthalos | 39% | 28 |
| #11 | dasturmi | 35% | 34 |
| #12 | Jägermeister | 34% | 35 |
| #13 | johnsn | 33% | 27 |
| #14 | flrnh | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geralt der Ficker von Riva | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Senshi | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | That one guy called Ying | 4 | 0.0088 |
| #4 | CreeD | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | johnsn | 3 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CreeD | +3.28 | 82 | 60 |
| #2 | leMon | +2.20 | 60 | 64 |
| #3 | That one guy called Ying | +2.08 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | CrimsenArthalos | +1.54 | 54 | 64 |
| #5 | Lyskh | +0.19 | 71 | 60 |





