








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 235 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 241 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1626 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2759 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2244 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2495 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,552 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Red plastic mug with a hand | 55% | 227 |
| #3 | Gizzy | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | DrNameless | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | Red plastic mug with a hand | 55% | 227 |
| #3 | Gizzy | 50% | 16 |
| #4 | DrNameless | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red plastic mug with a hand | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | DrNameless | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red plastic mug with a hand | 598 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | Derezero :D ™ | 189 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #3 | DrNameless | 142 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | Gizzy | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | +3.70 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | DrNameless | +0.46 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | Gizzy | -0.28 | 52 | 56 |
| #4 | Sarrkey | -0.37 | 73 | 55 |
| #5 | Red plastic mug with a hand | -1.12 | 65 | 67 |





