








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 219 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,944 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3173 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3228 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2632 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1911 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $719,735 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | DrNameless | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Sarrkey | 55% | 227 |
| #4 | FreddØ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Gizzy | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | 63% | 46 |
| #2 | DrNameless | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Sarrkey | 55% | 227 |
| #4 | FreddØ | 53% | 15 |
| #5 | Gizzy | 44% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarrkey | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #2 | DrNameless | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sarrkey | 312 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Derezero :D ™ | 162 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | DrNameless | 117 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | FreddØ | 39 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gizzy | 9 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Derezero :D ™ | +4.45 | 89 | 63 |
| #2 | DrNameless | +0.02 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | Sarrkey | -0.52 | 73 | 54 |
| #4 | Gizzy | -0.56 | 51 | 57 |
| #5 | Red plastic mug with a hand | -1.07 | 65 | 67 |





