








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 372 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,978 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1808 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1657 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1858 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 655 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $773,117 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 149 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EasyEthan | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | Horns | 78% | 18 |
| #3 | Macro peek | 74% | 19 |
| #4 | Vulture™ | 72% | 29 |
| #5 | MxddHxTTer | 70% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Ph❂b❂s | 55% | 87 |
| #16 | SS-T1 | 54% | 35 |
| #17 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 50% | 30 |
| #18 | Cartez⁴²⁰™ | 41% | 32 |
| #19 | X™ | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 2dotS™ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Ph❂b❂s | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Clon3™ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Jake Dahake | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Sigmar | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clon3™ | 384 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #2 | 2dotS™ | 297 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | Ph❂b❂s | 181 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jake Dahake | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | MxddHxTTer | 73 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sigmar | +3.48 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | Clon3™ | +3.28 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | 2dotS™ | +2.88 | 74 | 79 |
| #4 | Macro peek | +2.55 | 70 | 40 |
| #5 | visionZ | +2.34 | 83 | 56 |





