








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1008 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1316 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9379 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 36,051 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9533 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9113 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11028 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6377 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,440,291 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3873 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macro peek | 53% | 527 |
| #2 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 52% | 185 |
| #3 | Cynxcle™ | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Vulture™ | 48% | 123 |
| #5 | Flopppa | 46% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 52% | 185 |
| #3 | Cynxcle™ | 51% | 98 |
| #4 | Vulture™ | 48% | 123 |
| #5 | Flopppa | 46% | 107 |
| #6 | Ph❂b❂s | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macro peek | 93 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | Flopppa | 29 | 0.0122 |
| #3 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 20 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Cynxcle™ | 17 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Ph❂b❂s | 5 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Macro peek | 829 | 0.07 | 18 min |
| #2 | Malume DopLan ☁ | 415 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | Flopppa | 221 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Ph❂b❂s | 179 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Cynxcle™ | 178 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Malume DopLan ☁ | +2.86 | 72 | 53 |
| #2 | Ph❂b❂s | +2.21 | 58 | 69 |
| #3 | Macro peek | +2.10 | 66 | 37 |
| #4 | Cynxcle™ | +0.00 | 72 | 44 |
| #5 | SS-T1 | -0.36 | 44 | 48 |





