








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 136 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1863 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3915 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3099 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4096 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3038 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $345,870 of utility $57 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 296 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | 77% | 26 |
| #2 | Daybreak | 73% | 15 |
| #3 | DJ Jazzy Jess | 72% | 18 |
| #4 | CraMdeN | 64% | 61 |
| #5 | R1si0n | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | At Witz End | 50% | 16 |
| #15 | ✪ exit` | 50% | 18 |
| #16 | the|Supreme | 50% | 18 |
| #17 | Schnitzel | 48% | 21 |
| #18 | peeboy14 | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ericcc | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | deckle- | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | holycow | 4 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | Schnitzel | 4 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | goblins are real | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CraMdeN | 197 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | Chef | 190 | 0.32 | 5 min |
| #3 | STEEEEELE | 157 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | goblins are real | 154 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | deckle- | 150 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deckle- | +3.61 | 75 | 57 |
| #2 | Ericcc | +2.87 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | holycow | +1.38 | 54 | 67 |
| #4 | the|Supreme | +1.36 | 64 | 68 |
| #5 | Nafey | +1.36 | 78 | 52 |





