








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1146 | 29% |
| Smokes | 954 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 248 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 1611 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,688 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloak | 58% | 24 |
| #2 | pcarry | 52% | 29 |
| #3 | ryan | 51% | 207 |
| #4 | QuezIsGodly | 50% | 264 |
| #5 | Ortiz | 48% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ryan | 51% | 207 |
| #4 | QuezIsGodly | 50% | 264 |
| #5 | Ortiz | 48% | 60 |
| #6 | xarnoc | 47% | 17 |
| #7 | Knight | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuezIsGodly | 8 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Ortiz | 7 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | ryan | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Cloak | 5 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | pcarry | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuezIsGodly | 736 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | ryan | 177 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| #3 | Ortiz | 75 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | pcarry | 59 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | Cloak | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloak | +5.00 | 78 | 25 |
| #2 | pcarry | +2.22 | 71 | 53 |
| #3 | QuezIsGodly | +1.83 | 68 | 66 |
| #4 | SoldAgain | +0.77 | 56 | 41 |
| #5 | Knight | +0.22 | 67 | 23 |





