








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 93 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3704 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,273 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2757 | 18% |
| Smokes | 4447 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3323 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4746 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,758,823 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 13 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pcarry | 62% | 130 |
| #2 | QuezIsGodly | 55% | 771 |
| #3 | Ortiz | 54% | 186 |
| #4 | Knight | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | SoldAgain | 51% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ortiz | 54% | 186 |
| #4 | Knight | 53% | 49 |
| #5 | SoldAgain | 51% | 207 |
| #6 | Cloak | 49% | 63 |
| #7 | xarnoc | 49% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuezIsGodly | 19 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | pcarry | 11 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Ortiz | 10 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | SoldAgain | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Cloak | 8 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | QuezIsGodly | 1898 | 0.12 | 51 min |
| #2 | pcarry | 265 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Ortiz | 263 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | SoldAgain | 254 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #5 | Knight | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cloak | +4.75 | 85 | 33 |
| #2 | pcarry | +3.69 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | QuezIsGodly | +3.03 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | Knight | +2.28 | 69 | 41 |
| #5 | SoldAgain | +1.13 | 59 | 42 |





