








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
629 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,899 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 556 | 19% |
| Smokes | 757 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 803 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 783 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $122,513 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topsu | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | Moti:^) | 100% | 7 |
| #3 | Orange | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Masaa | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | Al3x | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Al3x | 60% | 20 |
| #6 | Grinder | 55% | 29 |
| #7 | Nikouub | 42% | 33 |
| #8 | Apziki | 41% | 22 |
| #9 | TiRRi | 8% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moti:^) | 4 | 0.0290 |
| #2 | Grinder | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Nikouub | 1 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Apziki | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikouub | 114 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Al3x | 82 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #3 | Apziki | 49 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Orange | 36 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #5 | Grinder | 29 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topsu | +6.82 | 70 | 71 |
| #2 | Moti:^) | +3.89 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | Nikouub | +3.38 | 83 | 75 |
| #4 | Orange | +1.42 | 74 | 66 |
| #5 | Masaa | +0.56 | 72 | 68 |





