








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 375 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 68 matches | 2,114 | |
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1635 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1396 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 684 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $607,974 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 272 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Jeph ♛ | 56% | 124 |
| #4 | elwood | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | strk | 52% | 52 |
| #6 | Topgunner83 | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Hegg3N | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeph ♛ | 10 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | strk | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeph ♛ | 354 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | elwood | 275 | 0.23 | 6 min |
| #3 | strk | 191 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | Topgunner83 | 40 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Bait | 36 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeph ♛ | +2.65 | 82 | 61 |
| #2 | Hegg3N | +0.68 | 66 | 60 |
| #3 | Endri ♛ | +0.34 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | The Bait | +0.31 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | elwood | +0.19 | 66 | 70 |





