








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 321 matches | 2,117 | |
| Faceit | 182 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,878 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4962 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5041 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4024 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4851 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,284,772 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1573 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | eL PatRoN_ | 56% | 77 |
| #7 | strk | 55% | 275 |
| #8 | Hegg3N | 52% | 46 |
| #9 | Topgunner83 | 46% | 56 |
| #10 | STH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | strk | 11 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | elwood | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Endri ♛ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | eL PatRoN_ | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | stian.K | 3 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elwood | 1550 | 0.21 | 36 min |
| #2 | strk | 874 | 0.14 | 20 min |
| #3 | Endri ♛ | 410 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | The Bait | 385 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | eL PatRoN_ | 318 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeph ♛ | +2.79 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | eL PatRoN_ | +1.39 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | elwood | +0.12 | 62 | 73 |
| #4 | Hegg3N | -0.07 | 59 | 68 |
| #5 | stian.K | -0.10 | 64 | 67 |





