








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 164 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 71 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2112 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,076 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1306 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1819 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2561 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2390 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $662,997 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 69 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | TazPig | 52% | 56 |
| #9 | HbG | 46% | 28 |
| #10 | MRTOKMAN1981 | 46% | 35 |
| #11 | Solzet | 37% | 19 |
| #12 | Asuna :3 | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | aRDE | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | pokka | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | siika | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | MRTOKMAN1981 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | 687 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | aRDE | 415 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | razeh | 192 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #4 | pokka | 181 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | PekuZu | 147 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meluksli | +3.71 | 79 | 65 |
| #2 | pokka | +2.90 | 79 | 54 |
| #3 | TazPig | +1.94 | 85 | 57 |
| #4 | mehinosu | +0.59 | 82 | 52 |
| #5 | razeh | +0.19 | 83 | 65 |





