








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 134 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3876 | 55% |
| Smokes | 1439 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 584 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1156 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $487,296 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 52 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomTom | 61% | 38 |
| #2 | Gok | 58% | 19 |
| #3 | Based | 48% | 199 |
| #4 | nuhs paL | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | SneakyThi3f | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | nuhs paL | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | SneakyThi3f | 47% | 15 |
| #6 | Majorpayne | 45% | 150 |
| #7 | XerG | 44% | 32 |
| #8 | jLD31 | 33% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuhs paL | 11 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | Based | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Majorpayne | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | XerG | 3 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Based | 505 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | TomTom | 170 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | nuhs paL | 115 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | Majorpayne | 109 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Gok | 68 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomTom | +5.10 | 86 | 62 |
| #2 | nuhs paL | +4.67 | 91 | 70 |
| #3 | Gok | +2.80 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | XerG | +1.94 | 85 | 51 |
| #5 | Clam | +0.47 | 66 | 58 |





