








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 364 | 35% |
| Smokes | 164 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 150 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 362 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $528,076 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gok | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | TomTom | 55% | 29 |
| #3 | XerG | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | nuhs paL | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | jLD31 | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | XerG | 47% | 32 |
| #4 | nuhs paL | 45% | 33 |
| #5 | jLD31 | 45% | 29 |
| #6 | Clam | 45% | 150 |
| #7 | Based | 44% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuhs paL | 8 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | Clam | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Based | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | XerG | 4 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Clam | 831 | 0.27 | 22 min |
| #2 | Based | 392 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #3 | TomTom | 108 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #4 | nuhs paL | 90 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gok | 64 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nuhs paL | +5.80 | 92 | 72 |
| #2 | TomTom | +3.89 | 89 | 62 |
| #3 | Gok | +2.96 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | XerG | +2.36 | 83 | 50 |
| #5 | Clam | +0.40 | 65 | 56 |





