








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1566 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1383 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 941 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1211 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $294,992 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magi | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | TheLaw | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | B1f' | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | m1L | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | RotteNygard | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TheLaw | 58% | 64 |
| #3 | B1f' | 53% | 32 |
| #4 | m1L | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | RotteNygard | 50% | 12 |
| #6 | proxi | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1L | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | TheLaw | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | B1f' | 5 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | RotteNygard | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1L | 340 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #2 | TheLaw | 84 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | RotteNygard | 63 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #4 | B1f' | 54 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | magi | 7 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | magi | +2.02 | 83 | 78 |
| #2 | B1f' | +1.46 | 84 | 52 |
| #3 | m1L | +1.37 | 85 | 69 |
| #4 | Candrex | +1.31 | 76 | 62 |
| #5 | RotteNygard | +0.56 | 85 | 65 |





