








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 806 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




84 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3101 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,720 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2356 | 24% |
| Smokes | 2609 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2335 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2420 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $980,508 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr lahey | 36 | 0.0295 |
| #2 | Joakim Von And | 21 | 0.0236 |
| #3 | m1L | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | Candrex | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | B1f' | 5 | 0.0044 |





