








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 73 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
758 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,404 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 525 | 22% |
| Smokes | 688 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 621 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $137,134 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1L | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Candrex | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | B1f' | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Boller dig også i morgen | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Nomic | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | proxi | 56% | 16 |
| #8 | TheLaw | 50% | 10 |
| #9 | Sönder | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | dillern | 20% | 10 |
| #11 | ✪ Ejs1ng | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dillern | 34 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | proxi | 27 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | m1L | 22 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #4 | Little Hebs | 21 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Boller dig også i morgen | 18 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B1f' | +3.90 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | m1L | +2.53 | 87 | 60 |
| #3 | Little Hebs | +2.18 | 92 | 76 |
| #4 | magi | +1.86 | 82 | 67 |
| #5 | Boller dig også i morgen | +1.52 | 76 | 59 |





