








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 453 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 112 matches | ||
| Faceit | 73 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2636 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2338 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1858 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1769 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $509,920 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuffi peak | Meow | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | RotteNygard | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | TheLaw | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Candrex | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | B1f' | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuffi peak | Meow | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | RotteNygard | 55% | 22 |
| #3 | TheLaw | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Candrex | 50% | 105 |
| #5 | B1f' | 46% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheLaw | 24 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Candrex | 8 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | B1f' | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | RotteNygard | 3 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TheLaw | 184 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #2 | Candrex | 140 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #3 | B1f' | 112 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | RotteNygard | 96 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | Shuffi peak | Meow | 20 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m1L | +2.30 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Candrex | +1.00 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | B1f' | +0.62 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | RotteNygard | -0.03 | 84 | 65 |
| #5 | TheLaw | -0.71 | 71 | 57 |





