








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 248 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3960 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,824 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4450 | 45% |
| Smokes | 2388 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 361 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 2625 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,161,866 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 883 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | will | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Fᵂ10 | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | enyoyy | 61% | 38 |
| #4 | Steinert | 51% | 292 |
| #5 | sven | 50% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Steinert | 51% | 292 |
| #5 | sven | 50% | 74 |
| #6 | suunD | 48% | 48 |
| #7 | Phnz | 38% | 39 |
| #8 | william | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinert | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | enyoyy | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | will | 2 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | suunD | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinert | 1035 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | sven | 216 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #3 | Phnz | 194 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | enyoyy | 130 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | william | 97 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinert | +2.15 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | will | +0.30 | 81 | 53 |
| #3 | pigeonॐ | +0.06 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | sven | +0.06 | 86 | 63 |
| #5 | suunD | -0.15 | 77 | 48 |





