








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 632 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 393 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5044 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4224 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2779 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4048 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,506,870 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 608 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Negative^-^ | 70% | 46 |
| #2 | Bård Balljtræ | 57% | 60 |
| #3 | Phnz | 54% | 113 |
| #4 | xSmilez #ESEA | 54% | 69 |
| #5 | HEN9NG | 53% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | HEN9NG | 53% | 30 |
| #6 | suunD | 53% | 113 |
| #7 | Steinert | 52% | 305 |
| #8 | pigeonॐ | 50% | 74 |
| #9 | Fᵂ10 | 50% | 102 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | suunD | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Steinert | 1 | 0.0001 |
| #3 | Bård Balljtræ | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steinert | 1102 | 0.16 | 31 min |
| #2 | Phnz | 583 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | Bård Balljtræ | 302 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #4 | pigeonॐ | 278 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | suunD | 208 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bård Balljtræ | +1.77 | 89 | 67 |
| #2 | Steinert | +1.20 | 80 | 65 |
| #3 | sven | +1.19 | 85 | 63 |
| #4 | xSmilez #ESEA | +0.27 | 87 | 51 |
| #5 | Phnz | -0.07 | 82 | 64 |





