








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,124 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3364 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4716 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3354 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3690 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,264,647 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1430 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Toppsy | 59% | 100 |
| #2 | Skill Issue | 58% | 363 |
| #3 | AgentGilbert | 56% | 229 |
| #4 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | GNGY | rvnZ | 54% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | GNGY | rvnZ | 54% | 63 |
| #6 | Grape | 54% | 333 |
| #7 | Jawn | 50% | 131 |
| #8 | Freezypoo | 48% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grape | 40 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Skill Issue | 29 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | Toppsy | 21 | 0.0103 |
| #4 | AgentGilbert | 19 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Freezypoo | 9 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grape | 1169 | 0.18 | 27 min |
| #2 | Skill Issue | 876 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | AgentGilbert | 440 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Freezypoo | 419 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Toppsy | 198 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | +4.84 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | +2.49 | 70 | 70 |
| #3 | Skill Issue | +2.01 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | Toppsy | -0.47 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | Grape | -1.07 | 64 | 60 |





