








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 117 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 15 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6397 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3305 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3395 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1216 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 2784 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,973,005 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GNGY | rvnZ | 62% | 26 |
| #2 | Toppsy | 58% | 69 |
| #3 | AgentGilbert | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | 58% | 363 |
| #5 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | 58% | 363 |
| #5 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | 58% | 26 |
| #6 | Grape | 55% | 225 |
| #7 | Freezypoo | 49% | 205 |
| #8 | Jawn | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grape | 42 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Freezypoo | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Toppsy | 11 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | AgentGilbert | 7 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grape | 831 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | 419 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #3 | Freezypoo | 406 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | AgentGilbert | 161 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | Toppsy | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anp0w's Millimeter Defeater | +4.61 | 91 | 46 |
| #2 | Skill Issue | +2.30 | 79 | 51 |
| #3 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | +0.80 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Toppsy | -0.60 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | Grape | -0.80 | 66 | 61 |





