








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 51 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
974 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,635 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1003 | 28% |
| Smokes | 876 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 868 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 888 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $458,105 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TobiJ | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 86% | 7 |
| #3 | Tappajahaukii | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Hessuttelija | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Kaap0 | 56% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Tappajahaukii | 58% | 12 |
| #4 | Hessuttelija | 56% | 62 |
| #5 | Kaap0 | 56% | 73 |
| #6 | haapaoja | 56% | 79 |
| #7 | Midketti | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaap0 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Hessuttelija | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Midketti | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Tappajahaukii | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 1 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haapaoja | 373 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #2 | Hessuttelija | 295 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #3 | Midketti | 161 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kaap0 | 117 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | TobiJ | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haapaoja | +1.88 | 73 | 71 |
| #2 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | +1.26 | 79 | 67 |
| #3 | TobiJ | +0.32 | 83 | 78 |
| #4 | Hessuttelija | +0.19 | 66 | 64 |
| #5 | Midketti | +0.07 | 63 | 69 |





