








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 64 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 703 | 29% |
| Smokes | 503 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 595 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $296,179 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | TobiJ | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | atvu :3 | 67% | 6 |
| #4 | Kaap0 | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Bluemaunttiin | 56% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Kaap0 | 56% | 52 |
| #5 | Bluemaunttiin | 56% | 54 |
| #6 | Hessuttelija | 53% | 47 |
| #7 | haapaoja | 51% | 45 |
| #8 | Tappajahaukii | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bluemaunttiin | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Hessuttelija | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Kaap0 | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | haapaoja | 247 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Hessuttelija | 221 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bluemaunttiin | 205 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | Kaap0 | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | TobiJ | 19 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hirvikuiskaaja82 | +2.72 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | haapaoja | +1.66 | 72 | 71 |
| #3 | Tappajahaukii | +0.62 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | Hessuttelija | +0.24 | 66 | 61 |
| #5 | Midketti | +0.12 | 63 | 69 |





