








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,464 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 910 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1348 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1258 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 948 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $691,664 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 98 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diu | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Cheeky | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | Syan | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | Not JWONG | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | splix. | 43% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | splix. | 43% | 14 |
| #6 | ~ | 43% | 68 |
| #7 | Muffin | 42% | 95 |
| #8 | crosea | 39% | 18 |
| #9 | ❤ mantra | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffin | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Cheeky | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | ~ | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | diu | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | crosea | 3 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muffin | 611 | 0.30 | 16 min |
| #2 | ~ | 406 | 0.29 | 12 min |
| #3 | diu | 231 | 0.32 | 8 min |
| #4 | Syan | 195 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #5 | Cheeky | 152 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diu | +0.97 | 79 | 77 |
| #2 | Gor | +0.90 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | Cheeky | +0.46 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | Muffin | -0.39 | 67 | 71 |
| #5 | ~ | -0.40 | 82 | 68 |





