








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 803 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12065 | 40% |
| Smokes | 6746 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4849 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 6306 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $714,445 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4895 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gor | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | duftyr | 51% | 81 |
| #6 | diu | 49% | 75 |
| #7 | Muffin | 49% | 37 |
| #8 | Regen | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut | 680 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | diu | 353 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | failcrab | 189 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Muffin | 187 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | Regen | 165 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | failcrab | +2.61 | 82 | 65 |
| #2 | Gor | +2.31 | 92 | 48 |
| #3 | Syan | +1.51 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Muffin | +1.35 | 67 | 70 |
| #5 | donut | +0.87 | 68 | 59 |





