








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 238 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 231 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,372 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4842 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4361 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1429 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 3740 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $591,778 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diu | 50% | 40 |
| #2 | ~ | 50% | 127 |
| #3 | Cheeky | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | Syan | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Gor | 42% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ~ | 50% | 127 |
| #3 | Cheeky | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | Syan | 49% | 37 |
| #5 | Gor | 42% | 95 |
| #6 | ❤ mantra | 42% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gor | 25 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | Cheeky | 16 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ~ | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | diu | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | Syan | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ~ | 727 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Cheeky | 305 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #3 | diu | 277 | 0.33 | 11 min |
| #4 | Syan | 252 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #5 | Gor | 199 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diu | +1.54 | 79 | 80 |
| #2 | ~ | +0.79 | 84 | 67 |
| #3 | Muffin | +0.70 | 69 | 71 |
| #4 | Gor | +0.32 | 77 | 45 |
| #5 | Cheeky | -0.18 | 70 | 65 |





