








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 199 matches | ||
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Renown | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,709 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7596 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5469 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5749 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5895 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,392,114 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 627 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dzimi Hendrik | 58% | 104 |
| #2 | Kovač ^_^ | 55% | 133 |
| #3 | AndrejS | 54% | 133 |
| #4 | wann1x | 53% | 195 |
| #5 | J4ckaz | 52% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | J4ckaz | 52% | 184 |
| #6 | oaksie | 52% | 120 |
| #7 | Pat | 50% | 177 |
| #8 | hanii | 49% | 168 |
| #9 | perki | 49% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wann1x | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | J4ckaz | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Kovač ^_^ | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | AndrejS | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | hanii | 4 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wann1x | 947 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | Kovač ^_^ | 636 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #3 | Pat | 611 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #4 | Dzimi Hendrik | 583 | 0.27 | 15 min |
| #5 | J4ckaz | 527 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Etna | +2.03 | 74 | 81 |
| #2 | Dzimi Hendrik | +1.77 | 75 | 75 |
| #3 | J4ckaz | +1.37 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | Pat | +1.34 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | oaksie | -0.93 | 54 | 67 |





