








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 653 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2848 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2571 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1803 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3052 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2269 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,227 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 417 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Etna | 52% | 184 |
| #4 | Kovač ^_^ | 52% | 182 |
| #5 | wann1x | 50% | 210 |
| #6 | duby | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | Dzimi Hendrik | 47% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wann1x | 1043 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kovač ^_^ | 989 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #3 | Etna | 968 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #4 | AndrejS | 551 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #5 | Dzimi Hendrik | 401 | 0.33 | 10 min |





