








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1716 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 143 | 5% |
| Smokes | 563 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 910 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1223 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $171,027 of utility $33 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 36 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 34 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | Psycho-Spanky | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #5 | O55Y | 20 | 0.06 | 0 min |





