








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3576 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5355 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5279 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4251 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3317 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,568,627 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4442 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shuppa | 50% | 110 |
| #2 | baRy | 49% | 443 |
| #3 | StillTrying? | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | SirBubblebutt | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | ʋιȥԃ | 47% | 255 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | StillTrying? | 48% | 60 |
| #4 | SirBubblebutt | 48% | 226 |
| #5 | ʋιȥԃ | 47% | 255 |
| #6 | willeeemeli | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | SFB | 45% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baRy | 30 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | SirBubblebutt | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | ʋιȥԃ | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Shuppa | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | StillTrying? | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baRy | 1231 | 0.13 | 26 min |
| #2 | ʋιȥԃ | 416 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #3 | SirBubblebutt | 371 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #4 | Shuppa | 286 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | SFB | 167 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SirBubblebutt | +1.20 | 53 | 64 |
| #2 | baRy | +0.87 | 69 | 64 |
| #3 | ʋιȥԃ | -0.14 | 56 | 64 |
| #4 | 3MoomiN)) | -0.65 | 42 | 68 |
| #5 | Shuppa | -1.32 | 54 | 71 |





