








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 389 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 213 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6899 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10377 | 23% |
| Smokes | 12133 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 12235 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 10291 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,025,635 of utility $62 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Knocks | 83% | 71 |
| #2 | M1KA | 81% | 106 |
| #3 | Baked | 75% | 48 |
| #4 | chowder | 75% | 76 |
| #5 | Tyson | 69% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | chowder | 75% | 76 |
| #5 | Tyson | 69% | 77 |
| #6 | Quorra420 | 59% | 88 |
| #7 | Reverse | 53% | 85 |
| #8 | ✪ fusion | 51% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quorra420 | 24 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | chowder | 23 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Tyson | 17 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | M1KA | 16 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | ✪ fusion | 8 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M1KA | 400 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #2 | Quorra420 | 397 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | chowder | 392 | 0.28 | 9 min |
| #4 | Reverse | 295 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ fusion | 292 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Baked | +4.34 | 92 | 43 |
| #2 | Knocks | +3.07 | 64 | 81 |
| #3 | chowder | +2.17 | 69 | 78 |
| #4 | M1KA | +1.90 | 76 | 73 |
| #5 | Reverse | +1.83 | 83 | 62 |





