








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1289 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2267 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,324 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 318 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1760 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1682 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1564 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,387,662 of utility $217 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 336 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The professional bot | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 67% | 45 |
| #3 | Harry Spotter | 60% | 130 |
| #4 | Acid | 59% | 154 |
| #5 | Senadin | 55% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Harry Spotter | 60% | 130 |
| #4 | Acid | 59% | 154 |
| #5 | Senadin | 55% | 230 |
| #6 | Baemmer | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | 4MIR | 48% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senadin | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Harry Spotter | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Acid | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Senadin | 557 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Acid | 488 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Harry Spotter | 290 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Baemmer | 80 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4MIR | +1.76 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | Acid | +1.43 | 69 | 67 |
| #3 | Nox (Tax The Poor) | +1.31 | 48 | 66 |
| #4 | The professional bot | +0.97 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | Baemmer | +0.95 | 83 | 64 |





