








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 144 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,755 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 974 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2313 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2110 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1358 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,784 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chyme | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Wekikbut | 54% | 114 |
| #3 | pepo/ | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Latsche161 | 54% | 13 |
| #5 | Yung lidl | 51% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Yung lidl | 51% | 160 |
| #6 | FlixZ | 51% | 85 |
| #7 | Anoy ☾☜☯☞☽ | 50% | 12 |
| #8 | Lowmaker | 49% | 74 |
| #9 | HeyJF | 48% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HeyJF | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Yung lidl | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Lowmaker | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | FlixZ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | pepo/ | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wekikbut | 388 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | HeyJF | 341 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Yung lidl | 325 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | FlixZ | 134 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lowmaker | 103 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Latsche161 | +2.90 | 55 | 65 |
| #2 | HeyJF | +2.35 | 67 | 63 |
| #3 | Wekikbut | +1.54 | 52 | 72 |
| #4 | Yung lidl | +1.54 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | pepo/ | +1.35 | 85 | 63 |





