








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 141 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 94 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
384 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 47 | 4% |
| Smokes | 281 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 413 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 596 | 45% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,611 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BarrackoBear | 77% | 13 |
| #2 | Montz | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Malordicfire | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | Muffin | 57% | 7 |
| #5 | ollɒӘ | 56% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | BEGE | 50% | 103 |
| #8 | Baldur | 48% | 60 |
| #9 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 48% | 87 |
| #10 | Houdini | 42% | 33 |
| #11 | <3 | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elliot | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 267 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | BEGE | 251 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Baldur | 200 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | Houdini | 144 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #5 | Elliot | 74 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | +4.65 | 88 | 73 |
| #2 | ollɒӘ | +3.04 | 93 | 55 |
| #3 | Malordicfire | +2.72 | 59 | 55 |
| #4 | Houdini | +2.69 | 56 | 72 |
| #5 | Elliot | +2.48 | 82 | 61 |





