








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 221 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1374 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,786 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 304 | 8% |
| Smokes | 1135 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1141 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $692,643 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | Muffin | 77% | 26 |
| #3 | J | 64% | 36 |
| #4 | BarrackoBear | 57% | 14 |
| #5 | ollɒӘ | 56% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | BEGE | 55% | 145 |
| #7 | Baldur | 54% | 74 |
| #8 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 54% | 112 |
| #9 | Elliot | 53% | 64 |
| #10 | Houdini | 52% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 443 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | BEGE | 361 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #3 | Baldur | 277 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Houdini | 204 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #5 | Elliot | 165 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | +2.69 | 87 | 80 |
| #2 | Elliot | +2.26 | 82 | 62 |
| #3 | ollɒӘ | +2.24 | 91 | 55 |
| #4 | Houdini | +2.17 | 59 | 70 |
| #5 | Black Charizard (Dan) | +1.08 | 74 | 73 |





