










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 587 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 208 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1301 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,760 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3025 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2847 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1881 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $711,028 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 324 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | Elliot | 59% | 85 |
| #3 | BarrackoBear | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | ollɒӘ | 56% | 90 |
| #5 | Malordicfire | 54% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 53% | 187 |
| #7 | BEGE | 52% | 203 |
| #8 | Houdini | 51% | 45 |
| #9 | J | 48% | 60 |
| #10 | <3 | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elliot | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | BEGE | 1 | 0.0002 |
| #3 | Malordicfire | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Black Charizard (Dan) | 660 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #2 | BEGE | 492 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | ollɒӘ | 295 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Elliot | 213 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Houdini | 134 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Montz | +4.17 | 87 | 75 |
| #2 | Houdini | +3.01 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | ollɒӘ | +2.41 | 92 | 57 |
| #4 | Black Charizard (Dan) | +2.05 | 75 | 77 |
| #5 | Elliot | +1.75 | 84 | 61 |





