








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 258 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Faceit | 107 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2766 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,043 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2669 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3684 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3379 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3311 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $803,276 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Shaviz | 66% | 32 |
| #2 | Smokes | 47% | 276 |
| #3 | Sjéra | 47% | 151 |
| #4 | The Trashman | 47% | 134 |
| #5 | Gaui_Svice | 47% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Gaui_Svice | 47% | 309 |
| #6 | Rustikusぷ | 47% | 105 |
| #7 | Helloyello | 46% | 195 |
| #8 | Korri | 44% | 94 |
| #9 | 椎名真白 | 22% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaui_Svice | 11 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Smokes | 10 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Helloyello | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Sjéra | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | The Trashman | 5 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 578 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | The Trashman | 489 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gaui_Svice | 310 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #4 | Sjéra | 244 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Rustikusぷ | 190 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 椎名真白 | +4.47 | 78 | 64 |
| #2 | The Trashman | +1.41 | 58 | 75 |
| #3 | ✪Shaviz | +1.40 | 69 | 69 |
| #4 | Rustikusぷ | +0.94 | 36 | 58 |
| #5 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | +0.82 | 46 | 62 |





