








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 284 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 224 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3876 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,863 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3925 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3082 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2973 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1883 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,543 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 147 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rustikusぷ | 49% | 118 |
| #2 | Sjéra | 46% | 210 |
| #3 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 46% | 195 |
| #4 | Gaui_Svice | 46% | 342 |
| #5 | Smokes | 45% | 322 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gaui_Svice | 46% | 342 |
| #5 | Smokes | 45% | 322 |
| #6 | Korri | 45% | 117 |
| #7 | The Trashman | 43% | 168 |
| #8 | 椎名真白 | 38% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaui_Svice | 16 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Sjéra | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Smokes | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Korri | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Trashman | 602 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #2 | Sjéra | 389 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | Gaui_Svice | 359 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 338 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | Rustikusぷ | 226 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 椎名真白 | +7.19 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | Rustikusぷ | +2.15 | 42 | 59 |
| #3 | The Trashman | +1.77 | 61 | 76 |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | +1.05 | 50 | 63 |
| #5 | Sjéra | +0.14 | 48 | 48 |





