








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 152 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2641 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,770 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2211 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1594 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2569 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1396 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,290,080 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rustikusぷ | 49% | 94 |
| #2 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 47% | 151 |
| #3 | Helloyello | 46% | 210 |
| #4 | Smokes | 45% | 260 |
| #5 | Gaui_Svice | 43% | 278 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Smokes | 45% | 260 |
| #5 | Gaui_Svice | 43% | 278 |
| #6 | ✪Shaviz | 42% | 19 |
| #7 | Korri | 39% | 77 |
| #8 | The Trashman | 39% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 15 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Gaui_Svice | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Korri | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Smokes | 7 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | The Trashman | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 595 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #2 | The Trashman | 505 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Gaui_Svice | 283 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 236 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #5 | Rustikusぷ | 188 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rustikusぷ | +2.01 | 41 | 57 |
| #2 | The Trashman | +1.98 | 63 | 76 |
| #3 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | +1.18 | 51 | 60 |
| #4 | ✪Shaviz | +0.72 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | Sjéra | +0.14 | 50 | 49 |





