








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2195 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1768 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2264 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2368 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1720 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $789,269 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 63 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Shaviz | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Korri | 51% | 59 |
| #3 | 椎名真白 | 50% | 24 |
| #4 | Helloyello | 49% | 118 |
| #5 | Sjéra | 49% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 47% | 105 |
| #7 | Smokes | 46% | 185 |
| #8 | The Trashman | 45% | 65 |
| #9 | Gaui_Svice | 44% | 184 |
| #10 | artjom | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 13 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Gaui_Svice | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Sjéra | 9 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Korri | 8 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Smokes | 5 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Helloyello | 411 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Gaui_Svice | 234 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | The Trashman | 232 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | 222 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Sjéra | 183 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | artjom | +6.13 | 77 | 59 |
| #2 | 椎名真白 | +6.06 | 78 | 66 |
| #3 | The Trashman | +2.05 | 61 | 76 |
| #4 | Rustikusぷ | +1.80 | 41 | 58 |
| #5 | ✞Faðir Dingo✞ | +0.45 | 39 | 63 |





