








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 211 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 46 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,148 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1706 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1682 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1566 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2194 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $841,485 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | jimmy lightning | 54% | 50 |
| #8 | davey_d | 53% | 72 |
| #9 | naweedy | 53% | 76 |
| #10 | fupas | 50% | 76 |
| #11 | flourish | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | slabo | 749 | 0.21 | 22 min |
| #2 | echo | 412 | 0.31 | 10 min |
| #3 | naweedy | 280 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dope Rider | 268 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #5 | davey_d | 254 | 0.17 | 6 min |





