








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 891 | 32% |
| Smokes | 726 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 419 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 765 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $168,176 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C0L1N_ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | Finncy | 46% | 46 |
| #3 | clippy | 40% | 15 |
| #4 | Leidenschaft für Scheidensaft | 36% | 11 |
| #5 | bb | Timonator | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÙwÚ | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | C0L1N_ | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #3 | [Furry] Smaugon | 1 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÙwÚ | 193 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | C0L1N_ | 73 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| #3 | [Furry] Smaugon | 31 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | clippy | 30 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #5 | bb | Timonator | 30 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | Timonator | +6.52 | 42 | 71 |
| #2 | Zipper | +6.00 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | C0L1N_ | +4.47 | 68 | 62 |
| #4 | Finncy | +1.54 | 44 | 50 |
| #5 | Leidenschaft für Scheidensaft | +1.31 | 56 | 57 |





