








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 283 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1773 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,798 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 724 | 26% |
| Smokes | 928 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 534 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 612 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,067 of utility $254 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | Timonator | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ÙwÚ | 38% | 65 |
| #3 | Nanashi Kokõ Na | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | C0L1N_ | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | [Furry] Smaugon | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | Timonator | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | ÙwÚ | 38% | 65 |
| #3 | Nanashi Kokõ Na | 36% | 11 |
| #4 | C0L1N_ | 33% | 21 |
| #5 | [Furry] Smaugon | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÙwÚ | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | C0L1N_ | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ÙwÚ | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | C0L1N_ | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | bb | Timonator | 41 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | [Furry] Smaugon | 24 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Nanashi Kokõ Na | 16 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bb | Timonator | +2.82 | 52 | 63 |
| #2 | [Furry] Smaugon | +0.99 | 24 | 65 |
| #3 | C0L1N_ | +0.20 | 72 | 59 |
| #4 | Leidenschaft für Scheidensaft | +0.18 | 48 | 49 |
| #5 | Nanashi Kokõ Na | -2.38 | 8 | 66 |





