










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2497 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 709 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




180 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5651 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2772 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4443 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 5774 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,311,207 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 716 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chappy | 61% | 72 |
| #2 | pat. | 60% | 88 |
| #3 | Glorb Glorb | 59% | 618 |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 59% | 518 |
| #5 | drawspeed | 59% | 375 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | pat. | 60% | 88 |
| #3 | Glorb Glorb | 59% | 618 |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 59% | 518 |
| #5 | drawspeed | 59% | 375 |
| #6 | Rouletta | 54% | 228 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrot Rider | 171 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | Glorb Glorb | 131 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | drawspeed | 86 | 0.0114 |
| #4 | Rouletta | 21 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | pat. | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glorb Glorb | 1117 | 0.09 | 30 min |
| #2 | drawspeed | 410 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rouletta | 397 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 330 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #5 | pat. | 68 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『Senpai』 | +3.76 | 84 | 48 |
| #2 | Glorb Glorb | +1.88 | 77 | 50 |
| #3 | drawspeed | +0.79 | 59 | 47 |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | -0.02 | 56 | 36 |
| #5 | pat. | -0.65 | 36 | 53 |





