








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 655 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 346 matches | ||
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5971 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2172 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 2839 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2995 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,102,782 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | 『Senpai』 | 59% | 375 |
| #3 | Rouletta | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 56% | 324 |
| #5 | Glorb Glorb | 55% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sad | 60% | 35 |
| #2 | 『Senpai』 | 59% | 375 |
| #3 | Rouletta | 57% | 156 |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 56% | 324 |
| #5 | Glorb Glorb | 55% | 397 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrot Rider | 137 | 0.0211 |
| #2 | Glorb Glorb | 103 | 0.0127 |
| #3 | 『Senpai』 | 58 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | Rouletta | 23 | 0.0074 |
| #5 | Sad | 8 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glorb Glorb | 763 | 0.09 | 21 min |
| #2 | 『Senpai』 | 570 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #3 | Rouletta | 300 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 223 | 0.03 | 4 min |
| #5 | Sad | 41 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『Senpai』 | +3.79 | 85 | 55 |
| #2 | Sad | +2.53 | 90 | 43 |
| #3 | Glorb Glorb | +1.54 | 79 | 52 |
| #4 | drawspeed | +0.74 | 61 | 45 |
| #5 | Carrot Rider | -0.51 | 58 | 36 |





