








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 94 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 155 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2513 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,205 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2562 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2049 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 661 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1933 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $760,726 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drawspeed | 57% | 156 |
| #2 | Carrot Rider | 55% | 166 |
| #3 | 『Senpai』 | 54% | 228 |
| #4 | Glorb Glorb | 54% | 166 |
| #5 | A No-Life Weeb | 48% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | 『Senpai』 | 54% | 228 |
| #4 | Glorb Glorb | 54% | 166 |
| #5 | A No-Life Weeb | 48% | 25 |
| #6 | Sad | 47% | 36 |
| #7 | Alfo | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carrot Rider | 70 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | 『Senpai』 | 45 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | drawspeed | 41 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Glorb Glorb | 37 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | Sad | 17 | 0.0242 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Glorb Glorb | 324 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | 『Senpai』 | 310 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #3 | drawspeed | 174 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #4 | Carrot Rider | 101 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sad | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『Senpai』 | +4.10 | 85 | 50 |
| #2 | Sad | +2.93 | 86 | 47 |
| #3 | Glorb Glorb | +2.37 | 81 | 48 |
| #4 | drawspeed | +1.00 | 58 | 43 |
| #5 | Carrot Rider | -0.03 | 56 | 31 |





